im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
