Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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