even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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