Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
