my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
