Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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