I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
