she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
