Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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