In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
