Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
