Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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