Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
should my penis look like a turkey
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
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