i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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