You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
