So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I am one with the molecules
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
