first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
