Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
