in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
vagina is talking i cant
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
