Texts From Last Night

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  (520): View more from Arizona

  But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.

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  (520): But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions. http://tfl.nu/p23c
  Replies (35) Good night (5827) Bad night (710)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.

  (1-813): View more from Florida

  I ordered a moonbounce.

  (813): View more from Florida

  Fuck, you win.

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  (813): Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party. (1-813): I ordered a moonbounce. (813): Fuck, you win. http://tfl.nu/qedv
  Replies (39) Good night (10582) Bad night (1176)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.

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  (850): Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please. http://tfl.nu/1q4n
  Replies (17) Good night (8090) Bad night (1124)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.

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  (425): I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to. http://tfl.nu/l558
  Replies (5) Good night (2744) Bad night (801)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.

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  (337): There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back. http://tfl.nu/dznq
  Replies (6) Good night (4680) Bad night (1268)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.

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  (416): he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming. http://tfl.nu/nho3
  Replies (12) Good night (7006) Bad night (1112)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  He made me a "booty call of the year" award.

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  (360): He made me a "booty call of the year" award. http://tfl.nu/7b1z
  Replies (15) Good night (3862) Bad night (1339)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.

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  (207): He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time. http://tfl.nu/24re
  Replies (10) Good night (3006) Bad night (925)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile

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  (406): Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile http://tfl.nu/ji9d
  Replies (2) Good night (852) Bad night (692)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours

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  (508): Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours http://tfl.nu/2ezn
  Replies (6) Good night (1124) Bad night (353)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?

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  (770): Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right? http://tfl.nu/rafd
  Replies (3) Good night (622) Bad night (336)
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  (516): View more from New York

  She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...

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  (516): She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird... http://tfl.nu/escp
  Replies (4) Good night (618) Bad night (371)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?

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  (+44): Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin? http://tfl.nu/rh13
  Replies (5) Good night (502) Bad night (300)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins

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  (+44): I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins http://tfl.nu/rxpk
  Replies (5) Good night (503) Bad night (307)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.

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  (216): it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes. http://tfl.nu/hh6x
  Replies (1) Good night (135) Bad night (72)

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