my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.