Non-Jews are for practice
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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