I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I've blown a few things in my day
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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