As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag