Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.

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(315): View more from New York

I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.

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(503): View more from Oregon

There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(347): View more from New York

i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally

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(954): View more from Florida

When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks

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(509): View more from Washington

Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?

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