She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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