if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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