I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize