she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
