I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
