just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
