I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
