We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
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I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
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Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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