when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
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Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
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Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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