she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
