3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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