She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
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