Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
