Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
