i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
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Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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