They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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