the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
