i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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