I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
