Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
