yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
