she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
