I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize