i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
