Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
