That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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