I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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