i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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