U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
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dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
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I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
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