this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
