i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
