loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
