u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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