She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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