Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
