just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
