i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
