I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
