You smell like stripper and shame
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
