I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Having a random hookup so left but love u
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
