yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
do herpes really smell.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
