sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize