He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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