So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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