you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
