dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
