I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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